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The Grandest Tale Ever Crafted

Travis McGaha

 

Once upon a time, (I love once a upon a time every great fairy tale should be begin with it) a great dot rested in the center of the universe. It was a grand dot but was no bigger than the head of a stick pen. The reason the dot was grand was because it was the sum and substance of the entire universe. Nothing but vast open space existed outside of the dot. To make the dot more complex, no free space of any kind existed within the dot. The dot neither moved left nor moved right. The dot was satisfied in its own existence.

 

The Violation of Newton's 1^st Law of Motion. (Actual science: Newton's 1^st Law of Motion states that an object at rest tends to stay at rest and an object in motion tends to stay in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.)

One day, and quite literally out of the blue, the dot became inspired. The dot began to spin counterclockwise. (Looking at Earth from high above the North Pole, we see that our planet spins counterclockwise. We also see from high above the sun that Earth rotates around the sun in a counterclockwise fashion.) The spin was so forceful that the great dot blew apart. The spin was so fast and so hot that the entire universe erupted into one big cosmic storm all at once. (That was an awful big area to turn into a cosmic storm all at once but all great fairy tales are littered with great feats beyond normal comprehension.)

 

As the storms cooled the entire universe, the great dot that was the size of a pinhead was no more. The storms churned throughout the universe for billions and billions of years. One day, some of the atoms of the great dot formed some land. This land simply rose out of the cosmic ooze. The Earth cooled and it was good.

 

Inside the cosmic ooze that surrounded the land were some elements of hydrogen, oxygen, nitrogen, and some various gatherings of other raw elements. The planet's soul cried out and the Great God, Evolution, was born. As the items floated in the water during the Great Cool Down, these elements chose to be bonded together for ever and became ALIVE! And it was good.

 

Being the only living thing in the entire universe became boring for the single-celled organism with no brain. So the single-celled organism called out to Evolution and Evolution began gathering other raw elements at the atomic level and spaced them apart just right to create another single-celled organism. Billions and billions of years later, there were finally two single-celled organisms. And it was good.

 

The two single-celled organisms were never quite content with floating in the water and hoping for more life. Eternity seemed to have passed when finally there were enough bored-to-death single-celled organisms that called upon Evolution to create a multi-celled organism. Billions and billions of years later, the multi-celled organisms floated to the shore and became the first plant. However this was not good.

 

For some reason Evolution thought it would be funny to change self-replication of organisms, so Evolution created the first pistil. Oh! What was this plant to do? Without a stamen in its life, it would not be able to make itself over. But Evolution was a kindly GOD. Billions and billions of years later Evolution created the first stamen on a plant and the two plants were happy together. And it was good.

 

Evolution was a happy GOD during this time and just went crazy out there. Evolution created fish and it was good. Billions and billions of years later, Evolution created winged-creatures and it was good.

 

However, the plants on the land were jealous. They saw the fish swimming and the birds flying and they were inflamed be the fact that they were always waiting on water to come to them and sucking raw elements up their butts for nutrition. The plants cried out to Evolution and demanded justice. So as Evolution walked by, Evolution picked a plant out of the ground and altered it forever. Thus was formed the first land critter. And it was good.

 

Billions and billions of years passed and Evolution evolved many creatures from his repertoire. Creatures were big. Creatures were small. Creatures flew. Creatures swam. However, no creature could think. So Evolution took a plant, a land creature, a flying creature and a sea creature and created the first little monkey. And it was so good that Evolution stopped evolving any new dinosaurs to focus on this cute little monkey.

 

The little monkey intrigued Evolution. Evolution gave the little monkey all of Evolution's attention until Evolution became disgusted with all of the monkeys. Instead of spanking the monkeys, Evolution decided to create a female monkey. Oddly enough, the female counterpart to the little monkey was wonderful. The two began mating and made all kinds of little monkeys.

 

Billions and billions of years later, monkeys populated Earth. One day, one of the monkeys spoke. Billions and billions of years later, a certain group of monkeys decided that they were human and called themselves human forever and ever.

 

Afterwards, the Great God, Evolution, never created any more animals or plants any other living organism from non-living matter.

 

 

 

Was this tale not GRAND!!!

 

We suffer our children to listen to this bilge every day and we say nothing.  Schools are taking children and forcing them to believe in things unseen by using the argument that this is “research-based learning.”  To do so is to institute a religion.  I am extremely uncomfortable with teachers teaching this as a scientific fact when in truth  it is merely a theory.  All of the elements of a fairy tale exist.  Instead of something miraculous occurring, we see the phrase “billions and billions of years” inserted.  If you give an evolutionist enough time, anything can happen.  What we are leaving behind is the hard science that has been verified over and over again in the last 1600 years.

 

It Is Not Always Good To Agree With The Consensus!

Some will argue that consensus determines science.  However, science is above consensus. 

· There was a time when the consensus was that the Earth was flat. 

· There was a time when the consensus was that the Earth was the center of the universe. 

· There was a time when the consensus was that people needed to be ruled by a monarchy. 

· There was a time when the consensus was that human flight could never occur. 

· There was a time when the consensus was that old food products simply turned into maggots. 

· There was a time when the consensus was that man could not break the sound barrier. 

· There was a time when the consensus was that man could not split the atom. 

· There was a time when the consensus was that the atom was the smallest particle in the universe. 

· There was even a time when the consensus was that man could never reach space or even land on the moon, much less travel to another planet.

 

Do not be afraid to question what is being taught simply because teachers and the books use scientific-sounding rhetoric.  When you take out the scientific-sounding rhetoric, the theology being taught is quite ludicrous. 

 

I prefer to believe that I exist due to the Grand Design of the God of Abraham rather than the whimsical happenstance of the phony god, Evolution!

 

My thanks to www.drdino.com for some great insights and comparisons into religion and science.