Don’t be shy!  E-mail us with your comments or questions to support@myhometownpeeps.info

Coca Cola To Stop Marketing Coca Cola Classic©

By Travis R. McGaha

 

Business leaders of the Coca-Cola Company have announced that they will no longer market Coca-Cola Classic. Instead, they are lobbying for the government to take care of consumption control of the beverage. This decision was reached at a meeting after finding that 1.2 million people in the United States (US) stop drinking Coca-Cola Classic every year. Rather than finding the solution to consumer dissatisfaction, the Coca-Cola Bottling Company has asked that the government mandate public consumption of Coca-Cola Classic.

 

Government leaders have announced legislation demanding that Americans consume an as yet undetermined amount of Coca-Cola Classic every year. Part of the bill even reflects the bottling process. Senator Rob Torquer said it best, “We understand that some of the workers in the Coca-Cola bottling company are not highly qualified to make this beverage all across this country so we are instituting No Cola Left Behind. This act will guarantee that only people with a Bachelor's Degree in Coca-Cola bottling from a government approved university program shall be allowed to bottle Coca-Cola Classic. After all, these are good union members who strive to maintain a quality product of which we demand that the US population consume.”

 

 

From the No Coke Left Behind Act of 2008

 

Highly-Qualified: All persons shall be called highly-qualified if and only if they hold a Bachelor's Degree in Coca-Cola Bottling AND meet the individual state's minimum requirements AND take a skills test.**

 

**By order of the United States Congress, all Americans shall refer to these individuals as HIGHLY-QUALIFIED.

 

Critics argue that the bill stipulates a production environment in which the lowest common denominator will be the highest degree of achievement. For instance, upon bottling a days worth of cola, the bottling company will randomly test the carbonation level of the bottles. Any bottle found to be flat will be the standard for that day's run of cola. All other bottles will be opened in order to flatten the sodas to an equal degree of blandness.

 

Another criticism is that NCLB never targets the problems which lead to 1.2 million consumers leaving the product. NCLB mandates public consumption with complete disregard to quality. Some of the 1.2 million who have left the market claim that the quality was so inadequate that they saw no reason to maintain that relationship. Others site hardship in which the market was so counterproductive to their needs that their families struggled. While others argue that the need was truly limited in their communities. After all, some of their parents lived without Coca-Cola Classic; therefore, they too could live without it.

 

Unfortunately, some government-certified, HIGHLY-qualified BOTTLERS have bottled inferior cola and tried to pass it off as Coca-Cola Classic. No government-regulated industry would be complete without job security. NCLB allows for stipulations of tenure. The only important factor in NCLB is that government employees are safeguarded from termination. Upon completion of three years of service, no NCLB-certified government employees shall be required to work harder than they choose. The quality of the outcome of their work shall be deemed irrelevant.

 

Rather than viewing education as a government entity, think of it as a business. Coca-Cola would never run to the Federal Government demanding involvement. Coca-cola would simply strive to make a better product. Even more so, Coca-Cola would fire inept leaders and workers at different levels of production in order to get the best end result and this is something that educational systems simply cannot do thanks to the apathy of leadership and power of the unions.