I understand that in writing this, I will offend many people. First, people will consider it a gross violation of a teacher’s privacy for my having written this. Second, people will jump to the conclusion that I have a brat that deserves what she gets from teachers.
I feel beyond a shadow of a doubt that my concern about the treatment of my daughter will remain off the records of these “professionals.” When these professionals go on the offensive of another child, I want other parents to know that complaints have been made to supervisory staff whether these complaints stick in the records remain to be seen.
The Setup
My daughter and another girl goes to their teacher at the end of the school day and class period and ask if they may go to the the bathroom to change for softball practice which will be held behind the school at the ball field. This teacher tells them to wait until the bus riders are called. To give perspective car riders are called out 1st. Then after an unspecified amount of time which could range from 5 to 10 minutes later, the bus riders are called.
After the car riders thin out, the bus riders are called and my daughter and another little girl go to the girl’s bathroom to change. The stalls were full so these two waited for an empty stall. (At this point, I interrupted my daughter’s telling and asked why she could not change without a stall. I pointed out that no one in the toilet should be anatomically different. She flipped out on me, “What if boy walked in, Dad, there’s no doors!!!???” I remember being a little boy, a simple dare could have put me walking into an open bathroom.) The girls got their turn to change, rounded up their books and stuff and proceeded to go outside.
My daughter approached the two teachers on “GUARD DUTY” with a handwritten note in hand from my wife explaining that she would be staying after school to walk over to ball practice. She and the other girl were questioned.
The Beginnings Of A Problem
Ms Tallent: “Where were you?” (I asked my daughter to mimic the teacher’s tone as best as possible. I told her that was no attack or affront to her, she should just answer the question.)
My daughter: “We were changing.”
Ms Tallent: “Where were you changing?” (I’m thinking, “what a goofy follow-up question, but still not some kind of mental assault. I told my daughter that teacher’s are going to try to see that children are not up to mischief and that she needed to grow a thicker skin if that line of questioning bothered her.)
Other girl: “We were in the bathroom by the office?”
My daughter handed the teachers the note and that should have been the end of this contact but it was NOT.
The Real Problem
Ms Brasington: “YOU’RE LATE!” (STOP THE TAPE!!! I asked, “you were late to softball practice?” My daughter told me “no.” Confused by this idea of being “late” to nowhere, I listened silently.)
The girls explained that all the stalls were full.
Ms Brasington: You guys have been late all year, but softball hasn’t been going on all year! (More on this statement in a moment!)
The teachers stated that the girls needed to come out when car riders were called! (More on that in a moment!)
The girls explained that another teacher told them to wait until the bus riders were called out before they could even change.
The teachers then gave instructions to the poor, dim-witted little 7th graders on how to get to the ball field. The girls walked away.
My daughter was smart enough to know that she was being attacked and until Ms Brasington spoke up, Ms Tallent was well within her duties to simply question. This however is called the teacher gang-up. One teacher is offended at a parent and the parent is an involved parent that is not going to take any crap, so the teacher plays nice and professional. Another teacher understanding the angst of the offended teacher, pounces on the child when an opportunity arises.
The Harassment
Let’s start with Ms Brasington’s quote, “You’re late.” A person can be late to a meeting. A person can be late to school. A person can be late to a class. A person can be late to practice. Never in my life have I heard of a person being “late” to leave a school. I would expect better use of the English language from an ENGLISH TEACHER. What happened to “teachers are there long after the 3:00 bell to help children?” What if my child was staying after school for a few minutes with a teacher asking for help? NO MATTER WHAT, A CHILD BEARING A NOTE FROM THE PARENT DESCRIBING THE CIRCUMSTANCE OF THEIR EXISTENCE ON SCHOOL PROPERTY AFTER SCHOOL HOURS SHOULD BE THE END OF THE QUESTIONING OR SMART-ALEC COMMENTARY. And that kind of note was handed over even before the extra commentary began! Can we, as a community, not go to a school after hours and walk on the track, play basketball on the outdoor courts or play on the playground? So being on school grounds after the bell rings at the END of the day is not some hideous crime worthy of an inquisition. As long as my children or any other riders that must be picked up get in the appropriate vehicle before that vehicle pulls away, they are NOT LATE!
The Lie
Ms Brasington’s 2nd comment, “You guys have been late all year but softball hasn’t been going on all year” is a real attention-getter. If you are reading this, no doubt that you think my daughter is some slovenly, lazy, extremely slow child who is forcing teachers to stay after school for no apparent reason. You might even think my child is a problem child. This “embellishment” was meant for the sole purpose of demeaning my child and nothing more. This statement aids in painting a picture of my daughter that she is some horrible repeat offender of something or anything. HOWEVER, my daughter has been involved in athletics since the beginning of the year such as volleyball then basketball. She has stayed after school for more days than I can shake a stick at. OTHERWISE, my daughter rides THE BUS!!! So she has NEVER been “late” to leave the school. The ONLY time that my daughter has been a car rider has been for doctor or dentist appointments or a family emergency. And for that family emergency I was the front car in the line and she was one of the 1st crowds of children out of the door.
The girls need to come out with the car riders. This is a ridiculous comment because the girls may not even start changing UNTIL the BUS riders are called. Time-wise, or better yet scientifically, it would be impossible for 7th-grade girls, when bus riders are called, to walk to the bathroom, take off their shoes, change into athletic apparel, put their shoes back on, walk out of the bathroom, round up their homework books (since they can’t take those into the bathroom for fear of explosives), and walk out with all of the other car riders.
The Confusion
One teacher tells children to do one thing; then after children do as they are instructed, another two teachers make the children feel inferior for obeying the first teacher. This goes back to the fact that I am not bothered by teachers questioning the whereabouts of children. I am bothered by the extra and most certainly unnecessary commentary when the questions have been answered. These girls did not need to be shamed for changing their attire but that is what Ms Brasington’s goal appears to be. Now these girls have conflicting messages in their brain: “Do we obey the first teacher or do we say screw you?” “Do we bolt for the door when car riders are called and change on the field so that we don’t offend some other teacher?” “Should we hate school so bad that when the end of day comes that we should want no involvement in this and get out of there as fast as possible?”
The final insult was telling 7th grade girls how to get to the ball field. To understand how insulting it is to tell these girls how to get to the ball field, we must understand that this school fears that 6th, 7th, and 8th grade girls are so brilliant that they can design, manufacture, install and remotely detonate a BOMB!!! These girls cannot even take books, pencils or anything else into the bathroom. (As a side-note, I am surprised that tampon and pad dispensers haven’t been installed out in the hallways to take away any sense of privacy from these girls.) Yet standing at the back door, looking across the driveway and the playground and observing in plain view with the naked eye where the ball field is, our girls are so stupid that we need these two brilliant linguists and meta-physics scientists to detail how to get to there. Hey! My girl has walked across a Wal-Mart parking lot during Christmas rush and lived to tell about it. I think she can safely make it to a ball field on a school campus without added insight.
The Actual Beginnings Of The Problem
Why would I call this a teacher gang-up? A few weeks ago, my daughter was in the wrong place at the wrong time. (It may have been 1 time in 8 years, but wrong is still wrong.) A student reported that a teacher stated in-class that my daughter and other girls were caught doing a slutty dance, perhaps they were doing the twist God knows how satanic that dance was in Chubby Checker’s day. I blew a gasket and wanted this investigated. By merely asking for an investigation, the teacher was “offended.” I could probably understand the offense of inquiry of such a dastardly accusation if this was the schoolmarm from Snuffy Smith. However, I have had reports that this particular teacher throws the word “slut” around in class rather casually. My son had this teacher years ago and confirmed this. Other children that I know have had this teacher and have confirmed this. One 6th grade girl was even told to her face by this teacher that she looked “a little slutty.” So hearing that this teacher used the term “slutty” and my daughter’s name in the same sentence did not appear as far-fetched as it should have. The investigation turned cold as children fearful of reprisal by teachers claimed that they weren’t sure what the teacher said. I was told that my daughter may have received a little embellishment from the other children in their reporting. It is from this offense against a teacher that other teachers having heard about it in the lounge may feel the urge to pile on and I am much more attentive today than I was a year ago.